Fathers & Finances

You work so you can buy what you need. You buy what you need so you can live. You live with those that matter the most to you. Since they matter the most to you, you work the hardest so all in your family can have an enjoyable life together. We live in a world where things cost money and you must work to provide for yourself and others. By being self-reliant we become more connected to those we care about. 

Money is important, but it can also be a major issue if not handled correctly. Psychologists say that 70% of divorces end because of money issues. Attorneys argue that 80% of divorces come as a result of issues in someone's pocketbook.  I believe that if people talked more about finances and created money management skills then those percentages would drastically lower.  

When talking about finances in a family situation it can be easy to say that one person works while the other worries about paying the bills. This can cause uneasiness and trust issues if both are not active participants in handling the money. Another thing that helps with being financially stable in a couple is to make education a priority. The better skilled you are the more you get paid. If you want to live a certain life, make sure your education plans match that reality. Learning to save money, budgeting wisely, becoming debt free, and being disciplined with spending allows you to be in control of the money you earn. There is nothing worse than seeing a couple that can’t control their money spending habits to the point that it controls their lives. Addictions can also be a costly expense, but there are ways to break free and no longer have this extra cost in your home and family. 

In traditional families, fathers have been given the title of money maker. This is not always the case, but more often if a parent does stay home with children, it is the mother. Much of the nurturing and providing emotionally and physically comes from the mother, while the financial support comes from the father. Both are crucial to successful family life. Fathers are not only a financial support to a family, but they can be a teacher and a friend. Studies suggest that life is much better for children to have a father figure especially during adolescence.

Fatherless children are twice as likely to commit suicide. 71% of dropouts come from fatherless homes. Without the role modeling and guidance of fathers, boy's testosterone (male sex hormone) is not as well channeled. This can lead to being less motivated, struggles with anger management, and issues with video games and viewing pornography. Daughters that do not have a father in their life are at higher risks of struggling with promiscuity, depression, and self-harm. Drug usage and negative peer pressure are also increased for both males and females.

Growing up my father worked full time to make a living for my family. I am the second oldest of 11 children with the youngest at 6 years old. As you can imagine, it was a crazy and exciting time growing up. Living with so many siblings taught me the importance of teamwork. When everyone contributes, so much more can be done then just one person doing a task alone. For example, if each of us did at least 30 minutes of chores a day (not that much to ask) it would save my mother almost 6 hours in a day. Working alongside my siblings created an atmosphere of enjoyment, memoires, equality, and gave me stronger relationships with my siblings that means the world to me still today. We were all on the same team.

A father is as successful as his family is. Together with his wife and children they become a powerful force that does not want to be reckoned with. Each person in a family has a vital part to play. A father should lead out, united with his family members in providing, presiding, and protecting. When a father abandons these roles or shirks his duties it shakes the basic family structure and causes a chaotic rippling effect that can ultimately end family relationships. Never let this be the reason your family falls apart. And if it has, have hope, because the fight of a family still goes on. I know this to be true, because some of my greatest family memories have been created only after my father left my mother and his 11 children. Something that is dark in your lives, doesn’t have to have a lasting negative impact. We get to choose the life we live and choose to have a happy life with my family that God has given me! I love my family!

What will you choose?