Marriage & The Struggle Of Divorce

Hello there!

If you are still reading my blog each week then thank you so much! We have talked about many things throughout the past couple months. From complex family situations/relationships to sexual intimacy, dating, and child rearing, it seems like we have covered it all! In fact, this will be my last blog for now. It is a bittersweet moment for me as the blogger. I have gained so much wisdom these past weeks and have loved sharing this information with all of you. I ask only one thing, if you have found value in any of my posts, may I invite you to share what you have learned with some one that could benefit from this information. Only then can the end of this blogging adventure continue on to help others.  

This week I would like to talk about a sensitive topic when it comes to family relationships. This topic is divorce. Divorce is a crazy situation, and it is difficult and different for each person. We all know someone that has gone through a divorce, either in a friend’s family or our own. Whatever the case, discussing this can trigger some emotions, so I want to let you know before we dive into this topic to have an open mind and take away information that is the best for you to apply in your own life.

There are many reasons for why a couple chooses to get a divorce. Hidden addictions can cause mistrust in marriage. When those addictions are sexual, like cheating on a spouse or viewing pornography it can be much harder to continue in a relationship. Not knowing how to manage your money with another person can cause communication and anger issues. When people are not able to talk in a healthy and happy way they are not as motivated to keep investing time and

energy into that relationship. One dangerous reason for divorce is called the prince charming syndrome. This occurs when a woman thinks a man should be like all the perfect men in fairy tales who knows everything and is always perfect with his actions. The reality of a prince charming marriage is not realistic and when we have these high expectations, we choose to end a relationship when our needs are not met. Another reason for divorce is neglect or abuse. Treating someone unkindly in any way is not a nice thing to do and it shouldn’t be tolerated.

The list can go on and on and I think in most cases it’s not just one factor but multiple reasons that stack up like adding straw to a camel's back until it breaks. Under the stress of all the reasons we often act out and say we cannot do it anymore and we decide to quit. Different studies show very interesting statistics when it comes to what we think about divorce. I would like to share some of these findings with you.

There is a myth that more than 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. The actual numbers show that it has dropped to 25% for couples that are/were married in the last decade. There is some hope for the future! This also shows that you shouldn’t believe everything you hear!

Do men or women file for divorce more often? You may be surprised to find that 62% of divorces that are initiated are done by the women in the relationship. Women are more likely to say that their needs are not being met and that causes them to end a marriage. 70% of couples in failing marriages report high satisfaction if they hang on for 5 years. Over time you start to grow closer to each other. When you can work through a rocky part of your marriage you end up being more committed to each other. In a similar study 95% said that they would kick their partner out if they were caught in an affair. Turns out that 63% of people choose to stick it out after their partner had an affair. 50% of those relationships ended up being even better than they were before. With those that do get a divorce, 70% of individuals regretted two years later, saying they wish they had fought harder to keep their marriage.

So, what is the answer when it comes to getting a divorce or sticking it out? It all depends on the situation. Sometimes the best thing to do is end a relationship, other times it's better to stick it out. Coming from a family with divorced parents I completely understand that making this choice is not an easy one. It impacts all members of the family. Even though it was hard for me and my family, we have grown together in many ways because of this difficult time in our lives. When we look back now we are able to say that family, no matter how it looks, is the most important thing to all of us.